Money + Men: What’s Your Story?
By Gina DeVee
Have you ever noticed how lifestyles come in packages? Or have you wondered why some women just seem to “have it all”? Or how other women stay stuck in “lack” or some kind of drama?
I know this “success begets success” and “failure begets failure” dynamic well.
There was a time in my life, when I was
broke and boyfriend-less.
Even though I had an M.A. in clinical psychology, and had worked at The White House, Harvard’s Institute of Politics and the Supreme Court of the United States, I still couldn’t seem to figure out how make enough money to pay my bills on time. I always brought in just under-enough.
I was your classic “under-earner”.
I didn’t have the self-esteem to charge my worth, I was taught not to focus on money, I thought that if I worked harder I’d get paid more, and I thought that helping others included lowering my rates.
Mostly I avoided the entire subject of money
because I was embarrassed that I was so weak in this area.
I wanted to be a powerful player in the world. I wanted to make a great contribution. I used to sit and listen to Marianne Williamson speak on stage about important issues happening in the world, and as much as I wanted to participate in that conversation, I sat in the audience totally obsessed with how I was going to pay my utility bill that month.
I wanted money in my life. I was willing to work hard. I wanted to share my gifts and talents. Here I was, a psychotherapist at the time, people paid me to help them with their lives, and I was humiliated because in this way, I could barely help myself.
And then came the subject of men.
Same story. I wanted to be in a committed, loving, relationship. I felt like I had worked on myself enough to be a desirable woman. I thought I was good looking enough.
Mostly in the man department it was lack…lack of dates, lack of receiving phone calls, lack of attracting interest. And IF I did get asked out, it was such a ho-hum story. It was so not enough–not in a high-maintenance way, but in a, “this is SO NOT a king kind of way.”
And then one day I made a decision to become a Queen, because that is the only rightful partner for King, and I was determined to marry a King.
Note to self: Queens aren’t broke.
When I realized that my story about money included:
- Fear that I’m not worth enough (to charge more)
- Intimidated to receive (money for my services)
- Even when it does show up it’s never enough
- Can’t figure out how to attract wealth
- I can’t have what I want (meaning I was supposed to “live within my means”–but who wants to learn how to live off of $24k/year?!)
Well, guess what?!
I also realized that my man story included:
- Fear that I’m not worth enough (to be asked out)
- Intimidated to receive (attention, love, etc.)
- Even when he does show up the relationship is never enough
- Can’t figure out how to attract men
- I can’t have what I want (meaning everyone around me had their own ideas for the kind of man I was supposed to end up with)
As soon as I stepped into the commitment of being Queen in my life, I immediately realized that included being Queen of my Finances as well.
The old programming of “You better marry a rich man” didn’t apply to the modern day empowerment of women, which includes being financially savvy.
I always say, if you want the best personal development seminar in the world, start your own business.
In the process of me being dedicated to attracting wealth into my life in both the areas of money and man…both showed up!
I now create in a week, what I used to earn in a year financially, and I’m happily married to my soul mate.
As you can see, working on your money story, because it is so core, will strengthen your story with men as well–this goes for single and married women!
For most of us, true wealth includes much more than money, AND it includes financial success.
Here Are 5 Tips to Transforming Your Money + Man Story:
1. Make a list of 10 beliefs you have about money.
2. Make a list of 10 beliefs you have about men.
3. Compare the similarities of the two lists, and send them to me with your realizations at Gina@EstherExperience.com.
4. Sign up for mentoring from a professional who has the kind of life you’d like in both of these areas.
5. Read wealth consciousness books like “Get Rich While You Sleep” by Ben Sweetland.
6. Read books on femininity like “A Woman’s Worth” by Marianne Williamson.
